Hope for the Holidays: Cultivating Gratitude and Connection
The holidays are officially in full swing, and feelings of isolation, overwhelm, and grief can creep in, no matter how hard we try to embrace the season’s cheer. We may attempt to avoid or deny these uncomfortable emotions in hopes they’ll fade, only to find they linger just as strongly.
As you move through this holiday season, consider acknowledging these difficult feelings instead of pushing them away. Lean into them and lean toward connection with others.
Dortch Mann, LCMHC, shares his reflections on the challenges many people face during this time of year, and how practicing gratitude can offer meaning and connection amid the complex emotions of the season.
“We live in troubled times, in a society that has become polarized, fragmented, and uncertain. Because we are deeply affected by our circumstances, we can feel disconnected, fragmented, and uncertain, too. As therapists at CPA, we notice that many of our clients (and we as well) are experiencing increased stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms. If we look underneath these, we see fear of being overwhelmed and fear of being abandoned or rejected.
Because we’re human, we can’t eliminate these fears; it’s as though they’re hardwired in. What we can do, however, is look for what is still going right in our lives and allow ourselves to feel and act on a sense of gratitude. When we experience gratitude, we feel a sense of wholeness, even if only for a moment. We feel like we belong, that we are connected. The pain of division and loss and loneliness dissipate.
Like other emotions, gratitude only works to motivate us to action while we are feeling it. It serves us best when it’s “warm.” Also, gratitude works best if it’s a welling up of emotion, rather than if we have to manufacture it. If we’re getting teary eyed and a little choked up, we’ve tapped into the “good stuff”.
Many of us just celebrated Thanksgiving, hopefully experiencing gratitude for what’s going right in our lives. We can be more deliberate and have this experience any time we choose. We can feel whole and connected again, even if only for a moment.”