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When you think of strong women figures in history, which names come to mind? 

Maybe Susan B Anthony, Amelia Earhart, Marguerite Higgins, Rosa Parks, or Harriet Tubman? This list doesn’t touch the vast number of influential women who paved the way for women today. It is important to reflect on these brave women and the pivotal roles they played in dismantling social norms and oppressive systems. 

But how can we further this work today? It seems like such a large task and can easily feel overwhelming. However, there are several ways we can work to support, empower, advocate for, and care for the women in our lives. Right here, right now. Here are a few small ways we can. 

Foster Important Conversations About Mental Health

Are you checking on your sisters, daughters, wife, female friends and coworkers? This doesn’t just mean the typical “How are you?” question that tends to be our default. This means being intentional with your questions and holding space for them to be vulnerable by creating a judgment-free space where women feel safe to share. We tend to check on someone’s physical health regularly because we can (usually) see when something is wrong. But mental health is not something we can easily see and therefore, we need to be much more intentional about discussing. If you hear her talking about therapy, normalize seeking mental health services and contribute to the conversation with personal experiences if you’re comfortable. Check on your “strong” friends. They don’t always have it together, even if it seems that way from a distance. These conversations help the women in your life know you care. 

Offer Practical Help to Reduce the Mental Load

Women tend to take on most of the mental load within families (not true within single-parent homes), according to a research study summarized by Science Daily. This includes planning, organizing, and preparing various meals, appointments, and chores needed to maintain the household. Therefore, any gesture to reduce the mental load for a woman in your life could be life-giving. Simple things like dropping off a meal or offering childcare for a friend going through a tough time are huge ways to help. Readily sharing resources, support groups, or self-care strategies that work for you can be instrumental in decreasing some of her mental load. Validate the fatigue and burnout that can result from carrying most of the mental load and encourage the women in your life to prioritize themselves as needed. They must be well first to show their best for their friends and family. 

Continue Challenging Stigmas and Cheer for Each Other

The continued work of challenging stigma is difficult. Say something when you hear a stigma towards women. Be open to conversations about mental health within families, companies, and communities. Encourage a mom to prioritize herself without feeling “mom guilt.” But most importantly, cheer for her. So often, we can be threatened when a sister, friend, or coworker has success, but this drives us apart and causes division. At the end of the day, empowered women empower the world. So, challenge yourself to cheer for her when she “wins,” because a win for her is a win for women. And we need each other.   

Valentine’s Day can quickly consume the month of February, therefore shifting the focus to things like gifts, and flowers, and special gestures for your partner. Don’t hear this incorrectly, these gestures are wonderful and needed in relationships! But they are also temporary. Pouring into a relationship and a partner goes beyond these things and beyond the month of February. What if this month you focused also on the quality of your relationship in combination with gifts and special gestures?

Dortch Mann, LCMHC, a couple’s therapist in the Greensboro office, has observed many couples throughout his years of practice. His work has provided him with great clinical knowledge about what makes healthy, strong relationships. He shares some of this insight below. 

What is one strength you see in couples who have healthy and fulfilling relationships?

You don’t have to be a religious person to see the profound wisdom of St. Francis’ prayer.

“…grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.”

Couples who can maintain their focus on each other, valuing the other’s needs more than their own, appear to have the healthiest and most fulfilling relationships. It may seem counter- intuitive to expect that you will feel happy and fulfilled focusing on someone else getting their needs met. But Viktor Frankl has an “explanation”:

“The more one forgets himself–by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love–the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.”

 These wise people are encouraging us to trust that our true happiness and true sense of fulfillment comes as the result of focusing on our partners more than ourselves. Adopting this mindset is a couples’ superpower.

What is one thing you have learned through your work with couples?

 Close, connected couples who feel fulfilled in their relationship recognize the importance of thinking like partners doing improv comedy. In improv, your responsibility isn’t to be funny; it’s to make your scene partner look good. Period.

 If each partner focuses exclusively on making the other person shine, the scene will be far better than if either (or both) are focused on making themselves look good. This “improv rule” applies offstage, too. If a couple has the “look out for my partner” mindset, that providing support to the other person is more important than anything (even the outcome of their “performance”), they will be strong and resilient, able to outlast any challenges that may come along.

 Yes, this way of thinking about being a partner is, for most of us, difficult to even imagine. Or might seem impossible to sustain. However, it is worth striving for. If I have ever been a good partner, it was because I deliberately reminded myself of the “improv rule”. Although I have failed it, it has never failed me.

So, while gifts and flowers and date nights are important in relationships, how can you also incorporate these ideas into your relationship this month?

If you are looking for a couple’s therapist, please call our front office at (336) 272-0855 to schedule an appointment. 

How do you feel about the New Year? Do you set resolutions and goals? Are you tempted to “reinvent” yourself when the clock strikes midnight?

There is immense pressure, through cultural norms and advertisements, to be a “better you” in the new year. Goals and growth are great things to strive for, but when we get wrapped up in them, we can forget one important part of the equation: you.

You have made it this far. So, what if we embraced the “same you” to make small improvements instead of seeking drastic, frankly, unrealistic changes?

Take a moment to think about and list out your strengths, unique qualities, and experiences over the past year. Reflecting is an important place to start.

Starting the new year with huge, unrealistic goals can lead to anxiety, stress, and disappointment. How long have you kept a New Year’s resolution? According to a Forbes Poll, an average of just 3.74 months with only 22% of people making it to month 4.

So, if we can agree that typical New Year’s resolutions are not helpful, then let’s explore the “same you” approach: acceptance of who you are as you walk into the new year. You have strengths, value, and worth. Let’s build on these to make small, gradual changes leading to long-term self-improvement. We can’t sprint a marathon, folks. Here are a few things to help guide you in this new approach.

Cultivating Self-Acceptance

Acceptance allows us to embrace things we cannot change or control, giving us the freedom to manage and alter the things within our control. We want to practice self-compassion and self-acceptance at any chance we get. This looks like mindful self-talk (if you wouldn’t say it to a friend don’t say it to yourself), a focus on progress, not perfection, the recognition and acceptance of imperfections, and the celebration of small wins. Self-acceptance is the rejection of perfection, an unhealthy and unrealistic expectation of oneself.

Setting Intentions, Not Expectations

Intentions are far more fruitful and encouraging than expectations. Here’s why. Intentions are intrinsically motivated with a focus on the present moment and your personal effort. Expectations, on the other hand, are beliefs and assumptions about how something “should go” with a focus on the outcome or result. Therefore, expectations can lead to disappointment, stress, and frustration. So, when we focus on intentions we foster mindfulness, self-compassion, and embrace flexibility no matter the outcome. Here are some examples of intentions.

I intend to approach each day with curiosity and openness to learning.

I intend to express gratitude and appreciation to the people I care about.

I intend to remain calm and solution-focused during challenges.

I intend to nourish my body with healthy food and rest.

These all are related to how you want to show up, not about the outcome.

Prioritizing Mental Health During Growth

Growth is difficult and you need support when growing and learning. Prioritizing your mental health this year might be the support you need to make your intentions a reality. Here are a few strategies to help prioritize your mental health.

• Boundaries are a great way to prioritize your mental health. When used effectively, they can aid in fostering a work-life balance, decrease screen time, and even relieve tension in some relationships. 
•  Consistently getting enough sleep and rest are great supports for brain and mental health. Being well-rested can improve cognitive function, allow for good emotional regulation, and improve overall well-being. 
• Connect with meaningful community. Feeling cool, calm, collected, and CONNECTED helps our nervous system stay regulated. Blocking off or scheduling time for those you enjoy being around is great for your mental health. 

So, cheers to the New Year and embracing the same, awesome you! We are always here to offer counseling services to support you as you walk into 2025. 

Are you dreading the conversations that might happen during the holidays? If so, you are not alone.

It is safe to say American society is divided over many topics, and you might see this divide within your own immediate and extended family. These differences can make spending the holidays together, difficult and tense. There is no “perfect” way to handle difficult or controversial conversations, especially with family members, but here are a few things to remember.

Active Listening

When difficult or heated conversations arise, focus on active listening. So often we immediately begin preparing a rebuttal when someone begins speaking about something we disagree with. This can hinder us from fostering meaningful conversation because it prevents us from listening before we respond. By focusing on truly listening before reacting, we create space for understanding and connection. Active listening can be challenging, as it requires us to offer respect and validation, even in the face of disagreement. However, it is this very skill that helps foster deeper, more constructive conversations.

Compassionate Boundaries

It’s perfectly okay to set boundaries when conversations become heated or uncomfortable. You have the right to protect both your emotional well-being and your relationships. Setting boundaries calmly and compassionately helps maintain respect and creates a safe space for everyone. Consider identifying a few topics that are personally “off-limits” for you, and be prepared with gentle, clear ways to express these limits before the conversation escalates. Practicing this dialogue ahead of time can help you feel more confident and less caught off guard at the dinner table.

Find Shared Values and Common Ground

Despite differences, common ground can often be found. While political views, social issues, and sensitive topics might divide, there are always universal ideals—such as kindness, justice, or family—that can bring people together. Focusing on these shared ideals can create a sense of unity and resilience, helping people connect on a deeper level beyond their differences.

These points emphasize emotional intelligence, communication skills, and empathy as powerful tools for navigating potentially difficult holiday conversations. By focusing on what everyone brings to the table, both literally and figuratively, we can turn challenging interactions into opportunities for deeper understanding and connection. 

Are you dreading the holidays this year because you don’t know how to celebrate while missing someone you love? 

You’re in the right place. 

Holding two opposing emotions at the same time seems, wrong. Experiencing joy and grief together is, at first, uncomfortable. But over time you will realize that it is possible and may even be necessary. 

There is no “how to” for celebrating the holidays while grieving someone or something you love. But continue reading for a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this new journey. 

Validate your feelings.

At moments you will feel sad, joyful, angry, frustrated, happy, and content. It is so important to validate these feelings when you notice them and try not to ignore them or hide them. It could be helpful to identify someone close to you to share these feelings with as they show up. They can help validate your feelings too!

Do what feels right.

The first holiday season without a loved one can feel overwhelming. You might be thinking “what traditions am I supposed to continue?” or “how can I do [fill in the blank] without them?” Remember that it is okay to change things. And, how you celebrate the holidays this year does not have to be the same as next year or the year before. Do what feels right for you now, in this current season. You are more than able to make changes next year. 

Say “no” and leave early when needed.

You know what you need. Therefore, say “no” or leave early if you need to. Having an exit plan might help you feel more comfortable going to a holiday party or dinner at someone’s house. Maybe you drive yourself this year or create a “ready to leave” signal with the person you ride with. This ensures that you can socialize when and for how long you want to, without putting yourself in an uneasy position. 

Ride the wave.

Emotions will come and emotions will go, so ride the wave. You will experience ups and downs throughout the holiday season. In the moment, it can feel like time is standing still and this sadness will never leave. So, be sure to remind yourself that this season and these emotions will not last forever. Identify some coping skills that will help you ride out the difficult emotions as they show up, so you can be just as present for the enjoyable moments. 

Be gentle on yourself this holiday season. Navigating grief during the holidays is hard. If you need additional support throughout the next few months, feel free to reach out to our front office to help connect you with a therapist. 

North Carolina is currently responding to the widespread destruction that hurricane Helene left behind in the western part of the state, along with other states in the Southeast. You might know someone who has been affected by this disaster, you might have been personally affected, or you are just wanting to know more about preparing for future disasters.

Susan Peek, LCSW has spent a large amount of her career in mental health providing care to individuals following various natural disasters. She shared some insight into preparing for natural disasters and the importance of emotional support following them. Continue reading for more information.

What defines a disaster?

The etymology of the word “disaster” means “bad stars” or “ill-starred.” The modern definition is any event caused by nature, technology or human that causes loss of life or serious injury, damage to property, or significant disruption to people’s lives.

Why is emotional support important following a disaster?

We know that providing immediate support to those affected by a disaster can help build resilience and improve individual and community ability to recover more quickly. Providing the basics of safety, medical care, shelter, food and water can help stabilize people so that they can better undertake the emotional aspects of recovery. Psychological First Aid and Disaster Mental Health services help people understand their emotional reactions to what they have experienced and helps them to identify what they need to recover.

What I need to help me recover may look very different from what you need, and when we are in shock it is difficult to even identify what we need. Part of what Psychological First Aid and Disaster Mental Health services do is help people stabilize emotionally and name what they need for further recovery.

How can individuals be “best prepared” for disaster?

We know that the better prepared folks are for a disaster, the faster they recover. Preparation can serve us in multiple aspects. Being prepared and having a plan can help alleviate some anxiety. Knowing what to do or that you have supplies at the ready can help redirect the focus from anxiety to a plan of action. Preparation and planning also decreases delay in reaction times, decreases the chance of potential injury or loss of life, and helps people focus in the moment instead of being paralyzed in fear. It’s important to think about emotional well-being and safety as well as our physical needs and safety. Thinking about what helps you keep calm and putting some items in a “go bag” can be helpful. Items like playing cards, games, fidgets, stuffed animals, music, pictures, etc.. can be helpful to have on hand to release nervous energy or make long periods of waiting more bearable. We often talk about building “social capital” or making connections with neighbors and others in our communities so that when disaster strikes, we know that we can call on others should we need help, or we can go help someone else. These are all things that contribute to building resiliency and the ability to bounce back after a disaster.

How do disasters intersect with mental health?

Most everyone has experienced a disaster of some sort whether it be a house fire, hurricane, or a vicarious witnessing of others’ experiences. Emotions run strong during disasters and recovery, and it is important to be aware of how they affect our thoughts and actions. Looking for the physical cues that we are experiencing strong emotions can be helpful in addressing them. We often point to “the extremes” such as not sleeping or sleeping too much, not eating or eating too much, being hyper vigilant or dissociating and completely shutting down. Feeling unsafe often tends to be at the root of most reactions so identifying and providing what one needs to feel safe can be effective. Experiencing a disaster is not something that people “just get over”. There are short-term emotional responses such as shock, fear, and anger but the long-term emotional responses like grief, depression, and anxiety can sometimes be more challenging to address. It is important to be aware of both the short and long-term emotional effects of experiencing a disaster and how they may play a part in the recovery process. 

Resources for disasters:

Disaster Preparedness Checklists:

The American Red Cross: https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies.html

FEMA: https://www.fema.gov/press-release/20210318/how-build-kit-emergencies 

Coping Tips and Psychological First Aid:

SAMHSA: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline/coping-tips

Children and Disasters:

National Child Traumatic Stress Network: https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/disasters 

It seems that August is the “back to school” month. Some dread it and some look forward to it, kids and parents alike. Transitioning from summer to school brings a number of changes and challenges. However, there are a number of things you can incorporate to ease this transition! You might be thinking, “how can we prepare for school now, we’re trying to enjoy the last weeks of summer?”

Continue reading for some thoughts from Dr. Hawkins on creating a smooth transition back into the classroom, for you and your kids.

As children and young adults head back to school this fall, it is crucial for parents, caregivers, and other stakeholders to recognize that the return to the classroom can be challenging for some. To help students flourish academically, it is essential to establish structured yet flexible routines, adopt a growth mindset, and create environments where they can express themselves authentically at home, school, and within the community.

Structured and Flexible Routines– Begin establishing daily and nightly routines as soon as possible. Consistency and clear expectations help children and young adults thrive. Involve them in creating schedules that include morning and evening routines, mealtimes, relaxation, and reflective periods.

Growth and Flexible Mindset– Perfection is unattainable, so be prepared for delays and exercise patience. Encourage children and young adults to face challenges directly and to problem-solve, taking responsibility for their actions. Emphasize their strengths and use them to address weaknesses, helping them to grow and manage their emotions.

Finding Voice– Provide opportunities for children and young adults to discover and exercise their voice. While you cannot give them their voice, you can create spaces for them to speak up, remain curious, and be their authentic selves.

Share your favorite strategies for managing anxiety about the first day of school?

Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations (e.g., “I am…,” “I can…,” “I will…,” “I am learning to…,” “I love…”)

Visual Sensory Activities (e.g., envisioning picking out a favorite outfit for the first day of school, the car or bus ride to school, reconnecting with friends)

Mindfulness Exercises (e.g., belly breathing, grounding exercises, meditation)

Physical Activities (e.g., organized sports, walking, running)

Being Present, Rest, and Reflection

How can parents help prepare their kids for the change in their daily routine/schedule?

Embrace a Flexible Mindset– Flexible thinking is as crucial as planning for academic success. Model how to adapt to changes without losing emotional control. Focus on what you can control and involve your children and young adults as partners in problem-solving. Encourage creativity and the use of imagination.

Affirm and Validate– Affirm by asserting, committing, and advocating in a firm and civil way (e.g., “I stand with you!”). Validate by listening and recognizing their feelings, helping them feel understood and accepted (e.g., “I hear and see you!”).

Encourage the Creation of a Support Team– Collaboration and support from trusted individuals are vital during transitions and changes. Early identification of these people and defining their roles can help leverage their skills and resources for academic success. Determine what roles family members, friends, and teachers should play in their academic journey.

We are quickly approaching the period of summer where you’re likely trying to find things to keep the kids (or yourself) busy. Odds are, you have already done most the things on your list, and you’re realizing how much time you still have left of summer break.

Not only have you likely done most the “activities” on your list, but you also know just how expensive finding more activities might be. Here are a few local resources that you can utilize to find activities without breaking the bank.

Local Garden Tours!

There are multiple different gardens open throughout Greensboro that are free to the public. These could be great places to utilize to get out of the house and get a little sunshine. Maybe you need to burn off some of your little ones’ energy? Look no further. Click below to learn more about each garden and their hours of operation.

Greensboro Arboretum

Tanger Family Bicentennial Garden 

Gateway Gardens

Bog Garden at Benjamin Park 

Sports Fans?

Do you have any sports fans in your family? Well, head over to the ACC Hall of Champions if you’re looking to fill a few hours and learn all about the ACC.  It is located in the Greensboro Coliseum Complex’s Special Events Center. You’ll find life-size mascots for ACC schools along with memorabilia to celebrate coaches, players and fans!

ACC Hall of Champions

Greensboro Library Events

The public Greensboro Library hosts all kinds of free events throughout the summer. These range from story time (indoor and outdoor), game nights and trivia, to workshops. Grab a friend, family, or both and head on over! Click the link below for their calendar of events.

Calendar of Events

Art Museum

Greensboro has a few places to go to view some amazing artwork. Both the Weatherspoon Art Museum and the Ambleside Gallery host paintings and sculptures. Also, the Green Hill Center for North Carolina Art showcases art created by North Carolina Artists only. If you or your loved ones love art, check these places out.

Green Hill Center 

Weatherspoon Art Museum (sadly under construction until August 14th)

Ambleside Gallery

While there are so many more things to do in Greensboro, we hope this gives you a good start! Many of these activities are free and remain open all year. If you don’t get to them this summer, no worries!

If you’ve been looking for a psychological evaluation, you know how difficult it is to find an appointment without a tremendous waitlist. We have continued to see a growing demand for psychological evaluations. So, we have gladly added two new clinicians to our testing team to provide greater access to these services. We are thrilled to introduce Kelis Tulloch, MS and Madhuvanti Patwardhan, Psy.D., LPA. Continue reading to learn more about each of them.

Kelis Tulloch, MS 

Madhuvanti Patwardhan, Psy.D., LPA

How long have you been working in the mental health field?

Kelis Tulloch: I have been working in the mental health field for about 3.5 years.

Madhuvanti Patwardhan: Including graduate school practicums since 2014. Without anything from graduate school including Internship 3 years

Why did you choose psychological testing?

KT: I chose psychological testing because I love seeing how people think and problem solve. I also enjoy helping people with understanding more about their brain and curating resources and avenues to better assist with their daily functionality. The tests sometimes provides a gateway into their daily lives and how the world looks from their perspective, and knowing that by using various assessment batteries, along with establishing rapport, allows me a better understanding of how I can help with some difficulties they may be experiencing regularly.

MP: I was fascinated by how numbers we see on a page can magically tell us what disorder the person has. For someone who struggled with finding answers, solving the puzzle for them, whether that be a psychological or neurological disorder (psych/neuropsych testing) and helping them see why they feel /behave/ struggle with things was satisfying. The feedback from them, the looks on their faces and their satisfaction with the solved puzzle was PRICELESS to say the least and very gratifying.

What population of clients do you serve? Why that group?

KT: I serve all populations from 18 months to geriatric. I chose such a broad population because I believe the work I do is important enough to help everyone, not just a particular group.

MP: I have historically worked with the 16 -90+ age group and more recently also the 12-16 age group. With the former it has been mostly neurological problems (my JAM). Most of my training has been with that population with neuropsychological testing for disorders which include a Dementia, MCI, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, TBI, ADHD and other neurological diagnosis. I generally gravitate toward serving older adults given they are a vulnerable group with limited access to healthcare and services, in need of immediate services and long wait times. With the more recent group in serving that population I feel that early interventions are most helpful for them to minimize problems, reduce risk and to facilitate the services they need to become successful adults and be able to live fruitful and happy lives.

Where did you move from?

KT: I recently moved from Orlando, FL.

MP: Illinois

What are you most sad to leave behind?

KT: I have always enjoyed traveling, seeing new places, and creating new experiences for myself so I don’t think of this transition as me leaving anything behind per se and I’m certainly not sad about it, haha. If anything, I am very excited about this move and invite all new opportunities and growth.

MP: NOTHING, my family moved with me and that to me sums up my little happy world. Home is where the heart is.

What are you looking forward to the most about working at CPA?

KT: I am mostly looking forward to gaining as much experience as I can within my field and honing my skillset to better my craft amongst innovative, experienced, and passionate professionals.

MP: Continuing to serve our community in the best possible way I can. CPA is a wonderful practice where I have in a short time felt welcomed, supported, and encouraged to serve the community. I look forward to forming strong collegial relationships with everyone at CPA and continuing to grow professionally.

What is something that you enjoy doing for fun?

KT: I enjoy trying new things (i.e., food, places, activities) and traveling.

MP: Hanging out with my family (dogs, ducks and chickens included), fishing, bowling, hiking , travelling and cooking (very therapeutic and enjoyable).

Share a fun fact about yourself!

KT: I studied as an actress and graduated from a conservatory in 2022.

MP: I have been told I cook a MEAN steak even though I don’t eat BEEF ever. LOL!!! And I can give the wing makers/restaurants a run for their money ‘cause I make the most culturally blended spicy chicken wings….. (In short why are you a psychologist when you can have a successful restaurant?)

Can you think of a loved one who has been struggling recently?

Some seasons of life are harder than others and knowing how to support our loved ones during those hard seasons is important. The best place to start is just asking your loved one how you can support them during their difficult season. If that feels too uncomfortable, here are a few places to start.

Active listening

One of the best ways to show support is by active listening. This means that you are listening without interruption and without judgement. So often we listen in order to respond or give advice, but active listening allows individuals to share their feelings and experiences completely with validation from you, the listener. When practicing active listening reflect back what they are saying and use open ended questions. This can help them feel heard and give them space to continue sharing their feelings.

Pitch in Practically

When someone is struggling, even simple life tasks can feel daunting and overwhelming. This is where you can step in! Offering to grab a few groceries, bring them dinner, or offering an hour or two of childcare can go a long way. If you’re over at their house, pitch in by doing the dishes or folding some laundry. While these tasks feel small and insignificant, they can make a huge difference for someone in a difficult season.

Be consistent

The best type of support is consistent support. This could be consistent check ins or setting up regularly occurring outings. Maybe you “schedule” a specific time each week or month to catch up. You could bring coffee, meet for a walk, or meet at the park for the kids to play. Whatever you decide, just commit to being consistent. Being reliable for someone during a hard season will go a long way. If they know they can rely on you, they are much more likely to reach out for help when they need it.