Guiding with Love: Insight for parenting children with an autism diagnosis
Are you parenting a child with autism? Maybe you suspect your child might have autism. Or maybe you have someone with autism in your life that you want to support better. No matter what, you are in the right place! Kelis Tulloch, MS provides psychological evaluations within our Greensboro Office and has experience working with children and adults with autism. She also guides parents and caregivers of this population in the most effective ways to be supportive while parenting. Continue reading for some insights from Kelis!
What are some effective ways to create a calming and supportive home environment for a child with autism?
While autism is a spectrum and presents differently in individuals, there are still quite a few commonalities with how to support individuals with an autism diagnosis by creating a calm and supportive home environment. For example, if a child is sensitive to loud noises, a calmer environment may look like wearing noise-canceling headphones. Similarly, if a child is overstimulated in the environment, things like dimming the lights, putting on calm sounds, and speaking softer can aid in soothing the child. If the child is having difficulty with emotional regulation, that child may respond to pressure to help them calm down, which can look like a tight hug from the caregiver or a weighted blanket. If they are not responsive to excessive pressure, they may need the space to calm down which can be a corner in the house or their room. Other supports may look like the parents/caregivers allowing the child to be themselves in the home, so if self-soothing to the child is them stimming and it isn’t harming themselves or anyone else—let them! It’s important not to make the child feel different, even if they already know they are.
How can parents and caregivers foster positive communication to support the well-being of their child with autism?
One major way parents/caregivers can foster positive communication for support is by affirming the child. More likely than not, they already know there is something different about them and they may not have the verbiage to express what those differences are or how it makes them feel. Affirming the child’s experiences and letting them know how valid their feelings are when they do make those attempts to express themselves can make a huge difference. Positive rephrasing is another good way to ensure effective and supportive communication. For example, instead of saying “Calm down”, maybe ask “How can I help you right now?” Or instead of saying “Be quiet”, try asking if they can use a softer voice. It may seem small, but using positive rephrasing especially with a child who has big emotions can make a huge difference. Lastly, empathetic assertion can also be useful in communicative strategies. This way you (as the parent/caregiver) are able to acknowledge that you recognize the child’s feelings while also remaining firm in your decision-making. For example, if a child had plans of playing outside but the weather ruined those plans, instead using negative words like “no” and can’t”, maybe try instead something like “I know you were hoping to play outside today, but it is raining right now” and maybe follow that up with a solution like playing inside or planning another outside play day. If the child does not communicate verbally, it may be helpful to come up with gestures or a type of sign language that you both understand so they are still able to communicate and express themselves.
How can parents and caregivers help their child with autism navigate big life transitions, such as starting school or changes in routine?
Navigating big life transitions can be very challenging for children with autism and should likely be handled in steps. So, if the child is transitioning into going to school, preparing them could look like practicing the school schedule at home or role-playing school so they have a sense of what it will look like. With general changes in routine, it is helpful to introduce the changes slower and in increments, that way the child has time to process the new changes and can respond effectively.
What are some ways parents can manage their own stress and mental health while caring for a child with autism?
It is very imperative for parents to manage their own stressors and emotional regulation, especially when having a neurodiverse child. There are a few ways to ensure you are having temperature checks with yourself. Some ways may include seeking mental health services, having alone time, or mediating and practicing mindfulness. Healthy coping skills are also important. While children are an absolute gift, they can be frustrating, which is why it’s key to be able to healthily regulate your own emotions. Also, give yourself grace! You are doing the best you can and sometimes that’s all you can do.